Dan Byl

What holds us back? What stops us from taking that leap of faith, or even just starting the next chapter in our lives? We have this amazing instinct that kicks in that is really there just to ensure self-preservation. In other words keep us from hurting our selves or getting hurt by our surroundings and people in those surroundings.

That instinct is fear, a great tool but if not given to God a wonderful hindrance a times. That feeling you get when you stand on the edge of something, we walk to the edge look down and with out a doubt say or think, wow that’s a lot higher then it looked from down there.

I am really scared of moving into something unknown, I put on a hard exterior and I walk out everything as confidently as I can, or an least as confident looking as possible, don’t want people to see my fear. The old saying, “walk like you own the place and people will think you do.” It’s ok to be afraid but it’s what we do with that fear that matters.

Some of us get stuck we don’t move, we cant go forward and cant go back. Some people put on façades just to deal with the fear, and still others fight. I would say that my tendency is to fight. The only healthy way to deal with fear is to surrender it to God, we need to allow him to walk us through the things that are making us afraid. We need to trust that he sees the big picture and has everything well in hand.

There is a kids song that says “he has the hold world in his hands,” we need to keep those words in the front of our minds. Its ok to be afraid, I think that God allowed us to feel this way so that he could be the dad that we all want him to be.

I know as a kid I would go to my parent’s room if I had a bad dream. As we Get older God fills that role in our lives, because I don’t think our folks would enjoy us barging into there room in the middle of the night, because we don’t know what to do with the rest of our lives. But God doesn’t mind.

We need to give those fears of being hurt, to God, we need to allow him to free us from the stuff that holds us back, from relationship, from moving into what God has for us. We hold onto memories of being lied to, betrayed, used and abused, and then when something that could resemble our past arises we run for cover. We shut doors, build walls and we stick our heads in the ground like an ostrich. (that has to be the least poetic word in the English language, it really killed the flow of that sentence…)

we do this because it makes us feel safe. But it is a false sense of security, if no one gets in then we don’t get hurt, we can’t live like that. We have to allow God to free us from fear. I know that these things are all easier said then done. I am not going to presume to have all the answers. This is still a journey I am on, and it kicks my ass on a regular basis.

But pressing forward, trusting in God, giving him our fear, putting ourselves out there and giving God room to prove him self, is key. Only when we give our fears to God are we able to be who he has called us to be.

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The other day a friend and me had a little run in with a person from a group that is involved with a lot of organized crime. We happened to find our selves on “their” dock, and they did not seem to like us being there. This particular person came out to the end of the dock we were sitting on and told us to get the @#$% of his dock, and proceeded to punch me in the side of the head.

I promptly started defending my self he then tried to push me in to the lake so I knocked his hands away, and made a fist to drop this guy. That’s when I saw it, the vest that he was wearing had a badge on it. The badge of a well-connected and dangerous group of criminals. Frustrated I doped my fist and watched as he turned and punched my buddy in the head. He had seen the badge and blocked the punches as best he could with out ever raising a hand against the aggressor. We then proceeded to leave as fast as we could.

The thoughts that comes to mind after a bit of reflection on the whole situation are these, first, organized crime is so eighties, GET OVER IT. Second is how do we walk out with the authority that we have as sons and daughters of Christ, I mean this guy belongs to a bunch of punks that think they own the world, and just because he had that vest on me and my friend who could have tuned this guy (like an expensive guitar) with out thinking twice didn’t lift a hand.

We walk around this world with the almighty backing us. Should we get vests too? That might not fly to often I find myself hiding my beliefs or worried what people will think if they found out that I am a Christ follower. Should we not walk out everything we do with the boldness that this guy had. With the confidence to walk up to two guys bigger then him and just start swinging.

I know that we are called to walk in love, so why don’t we walk up to the people around us and love them, let the people around us know that we care, that we love them because that is what Christ has asked us to do.

That looks different in every situation, but I think that we can walk away from every situation leaving people feeling loved.

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(Sorry about the word pussy, but really I don’t know what other word to use.)

So I don’t know how many of you read my little email to Shaw… “But really people,” how is it that we let society get to such a state of immorality, a place so low that the creator of abortion gets the Governor Generals award. (Yes, we now hand out awards for killing babies) “North America disgusts me.”

Our “culture” is destroying us. I truly believe this, now you may be thinking that I am going over the top on this one but the reality is this, I believe that God blesses us when we walk in his will, that though he has the ability to redeem all for his glory he can’t do this unless we start asking. Why do we continue to force God to have to redeem everything? And a lot of the time he destroys what is there and starts again. (the flood)

There is a certain blessing that we get when we stay in the lines that God has given us. And we are so far out side of those lines as a collective whole that God is no longer able to bless us. (The recession) We need to allow God to redeem us, but as long as we continue to walk in complete apathy and let things slide, we hinder what God wants for us. God has given us free choice and his hands are tied as long as we continue down this road.

We wonder why all of North American culture (that includes Europe) has gone down the tube. Why our economy is dropping like an anvil from the roof of a 20-story building. And Christians are asking “why are we being affected we are living our lives right?” (it amazes me that we even ask)

Why? Because we are pathetic apathetic people. I am including my self in this. I have sat back and watched as our society tares it self-apart. I have not stood up for what I believe is right. I have said well that doesn’t really affect me you can do what you want, as long as you don’t step on my toes and just shaken my head from a far.
It is time to stop shaking our heads in societies general direction, and start becoming active. God has given us abilities, some of us writers others public speaking, he has given us everything we need. Lets start using our talents to change things, lets stop being a bunch of cowards and stand up for what we believe in.

God backs us; we really don’t have anything to be afraid of. I know that when we start acting on what God has called us to, God will bless us. We often think that if we speak up we will be rejected; society has become so sick, why would you even care if you are deemed as an out cast someone that doesn’t buy into North American Culture. What is the worst that is going to happen, you get made fun of, they aren’t allowed to kill Christians anymore. We as Christ followers need to stop adding to what society would call fakeness. We need to start living some authentic lives and start standing for something; frankly standing for anything would be an improvement.

I am so tired of people saying that they don’t know enough or haven’t got it figured out yet, so they pussy out and let things slide. If you don’t know enough, God gave you the ability to learn, (read a book) and this whole need to get it figured out crap, “news flash” you probably won’t ever have it figured out, so its now or never.

I would like to be more encouraging, and this ranting business is not really what I am into but honestly, Christians are a rather pathetic bunch in general, Now there are the exceptions and Thank God they are out there, and Thank you for doing something. For giving the rest of us a least a chance to save face. I believe that if we start standing up, that our world will turn around. That God will be given the chance to save us.

“Wow”, I am done ranting. I get a little riled up some times when I look at Christians and I see the mentalities that we have embraced. The mentality that in the end is making us just like everyone else. I want to see us succeed I want to be a part of a group of people that are making a difference. I want to make a difference.

I heard a quote a while ago that went something like this. “There is nothing in this world more dangerous then a person with nothing to lose.” The truth is this; we don’t have anything to lose. So lets start living like it. We think well I do have things to lose, “No you don’t.” There is nothing that you have that God couldn’t take away in a second or give back to you in an even shorter second. Nothing we have is ours if we are truly living the life God has called us to. So lets anti up and start making a difference.

“What is a man, if he is not trying to make the world he lives in a better place.”
Kingdom of Heaven

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I was standing in church on Monday night listening to some worship songs being sung. (I was only standing cause every one else was) And I say listening because I was not actually singing, I was a little lost in thought at the particular moment in time. When some words from a song that was being sung, drifted through the space between my ears and then began to register.

But what I realized was that the song seemed very backwards to me. The words were something along the lines of, “Thank you God from coming and joining us here, we are so glad that you have finally come.” I don’t think those are the exact words but they are close enough.

Your first instinct may be, “those aren’t backwards, they sounds like every other song we sing in church.” They are though and the reason why is what hit me. I looked over at my buddy and proceeded to sing what I thought the words should be. “Thanks Dan for finally taking the time to see me here,” “Thanks Dan for finally listening to what I have been trying to tell you for months,” “thanks Dan for finally coming to me,” so on and so forth. You get the idea, I think that we forget that God is always there.

Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God is always there, we just need to pay more attention to Him. We often get caught up in our selves, what is in our hearts our minds and our thoughts, (we are so self centered) we forget to look around us and see that god is standing right next to us and often carrying us down the road we are traveling. God loves us, the bible says that he stands at the door and nocks we just need to open that door and give him the time of day.

I think that this is how we often view life and God, but aren’t always willing to admit it. I know that this is how I often walk out life. “Picture this,”

we are walking down some beach with God when, he suddenly feels the need to run off to the bathroom to relieve himself, The devil who just happens to be following us down the beach waiting for his chance to strike sees his opportunity as Jesus disappears into the men’s room. He strikes us with all his force. We turn to look for God but he isn’t there, “oh no!” Then when it seems like all is lost Jesus comes bounding back down the beach in his mighty and majestic way, and sends the devil packing.

Ok we all know that Jesus is God and he wouldn’t actually have to go relieve himself, (maybe he does, we do, and we were made in his image. I wonder what God eats.) but we to often make statements that are along the lines of I feel alone, I can’t see God I can’t hear his voice, and we run around in a panic trying to find Christ, I think he must just laugh, its like looking for our sunglasses when they are on top of our head. He is standing right there in front of us but we can’t see him.

About a month ago I had a bit of revelation, I had been going through life and feeling that someone or something had cut the lines of communication between me and God, I was hearing a lot of silence.

A wise friend of mine asked if there was something that I may be allowing to come between God and I. I thought about it for a moment and there was nothing that was coming to mind. We got to talking about my day, and a conversation that I had with a person that fits nicely into the father figure roll in my life. I had told him, that we have misunderstandings and that a lot of the time it has to do with the way I view him, and the simple fact that I see him through a lens that is covered in 24 years of Daddy issues.

It occurred to me that perhaps I was looking at God through 24 years of Daddy issues and it was clouding my vision. Once I went to God and apologized for putting those things on God rather then giving them to Him, and I asked Him to remove those things. I was able to see him standing right there, right were he had been all along.

I had so much junk in my eyes that I couldn’t see him, and believed that maybe he had metaphorically speaking gone to the bathroom and left me standing there alone.

We just need to focus on him to keep him the center of all we do. We need to believe that it is not him that has wondered off to look for something better to do. But that it is us that is blinding ourselves to his continual companionship.

The second part of my little epiphany is this, that when we talk to God and finally look at him, we usually sing a tune that goes something like this. God I could really use your help in getting out of this situation.

Now society teaches us that if something sucks get out or as far away as you can from it. Don’t linger duck your head and run. Well that is not really what I think God has in mind for us.

Another wise man has a saying, I don’t know if it’s his but he is the one that I heard say it. The saying is this “God is not about fixing us, as much as he is about coming along side us, and joining us where we are at.” We need to stop asking God to get us out of situations and start asking him what it is that he has for us in those situations.

Psalms 23: 5
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

THAT’S RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!

God doesn’t want to take us out of the dark places he wants us to sit down and feast in the face of hardship. I think that the feast is, growth, growing as a person, growing closer to God, growing in our relationships, growing in our personal maturity.

We need to stick things out we need to look at God believe that he is right there with us, never leaving or forsaking us. And that there is something in every situation that God has something for us. A table of awesomeness. But the only way to access this table is keeping God the center or our lives, to focus on him, after all he is the one that prepares the table, not us.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

So next time things seem hard remember this, that God didn’t run off, he is setting up a feast just for you.

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As I sat listening to the pastor preach, I had this over whelming erg to get out of there. He was talking about trusting god, for everything that we need, to trust him to take care of our every need. I began to feel frustrated, I looked around at all the people sitting there listening to this sermon, How are we ever going to learn to trust God if the only time we ever think about him, is here in church? We are not going to find a learning situation sitting here in church.

I headed home with these frustrating thoughts ringing in my ears, I grabbed my laptop , and then I was off to the coffee shop to rant. I got home grabbed my computer, and headed back out to my jeep, put the key in the ignition and nothing… I tried everything I could think of, it was not going to run. It’s either the fuel pump or the starter, for money sake, I really hope it’s the starter.

I am just finishing up 3 weeks off work because of sickness and I am stretched a little thinner then I have been in years, and car repair bills are not something I need right now.

I just got put into a position of “to trust or not to trust?“

Funny how God works, If you go looking for something especially a learning experience, it seems God is always ready and wiling to help you find one. He really has a sense of humor. (Guess I found what I was looking for) God obviously is trying to teach me something here.

I have to admit I have been really frustrated with him lately, let me recap the last month of my life. Saturday before Christmas I went into the hospital for 3 days with a full blockage in my intestines, I got out for Christmas and then the Monday after I end up back in with a partial blockage. The doctor ordered a fluid only diet for a week, less then a week later I got the flu, and I am sicker then I have ever been, it takes about a week to recover from that. Then 2 days later I get an infection in my lungs, that the doctors think it is going to turn into something much worse, I have been feeling better now for about 2 days and just when I think it is all over my car breaks down.

I know that I am blessed, I have a beautiful girlfriend that looks after me so well, I still have a job, food and friends. But no matter how you look at it, that is a really crappy month.

I have been asking God what it is he has been trying to teach me through all this. I am really coming to the end of my self, which seems to be the place that God has the most room to speak.

“IT’S IN OUR INABILITY, THAT GOD CAN SHOW HIS ABILITY.”

My problem is that I am a fighter and a survivor; I won’t go down with out a fight. Do I think God is trying to break me? Yes I do. He wants to be my provider my provision. He doesn’t want me to rely on myself; he wants me to rely on him.

I have been looking at the book of Job, don’t worry I am not going to compare myself to Job, I have nothing on him. My point is that it took God allowing the complete destruction of everything that Job had and owned in order for God to be able to show him self to Job in a new way. That really scares me cause I don’t want to lose everything I have. But if it means that God can show himself in a new way, if it means that through this I learn to trust him, I know that it will be worth it, that my life will be much better, on the other side of all this.

God is teaching me to trust and rely on the people around me, close friends, and my significant other. I can’t go through life a one man show, that is what I am learning, (way to slowly most days) I have to allow the people in my life to speak into me and care for my needs, I have to learn to ask for help. That is a list of things that I am not very good at, but I am leaning.

I am learning that we need to embrace what we are going through and where we are in the moment, and only when we do that can we start to learn. The more we fight the longer it takes.

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(Exploring often helps in understanding)

I went to church this morning… (an unusual event) I even managed to sit thought the sermon,(this is about as frequent as a holly wood star remaining married) the sermon was actually really thought provoking. Let me share with you the thought, which was provoked. The way we see God has a direct affect on how we live our lives. We are more likely to believe that what happens in our lives affects the way we view God. This is because our lives are more real to us. So it would make sense that the more “real” would affect the less “real.”

One of the ways we view God is as a father figure, this is one of the more obvious views. One that is influenced greatly by our life’s experiences, we very seldom see God as the Father he is, as a result of our earthly father.

Last summer God helped me realize that I was transferring the view of my earthly father to God, as a result this was preventing me from hearing God. I had to deal with this, I don’t listen to my earthly father, and I readily disregard the things he says. I was putting that response into action when I talked to God. I needed to ask for, forgiveness, and the channels of communication opened up once again.

Through this experience I began to realize, “I don’t know what it means to see God as my father.”

I began to explore this concept… at the time my life was a little unstable, I was off work and self employed so no EI for me and I was having some serious issues with my health. I needed to trust God for my basic needs. “Something, that I am not very comfortable with.” This is because I have been taught (by my earthly father) that I need to look out for my self. I need to provide for my own need. This is a very different mentality then what God is asking us to have.

We are supposed to be God’s children.

What does that mean? I think that as we have grown up, we have become “responsible” we have decided that we need to provide for our selves. We get jobs, buy homes, and provide for our families. But God is asking us to be child like, what does this mean to us as ”responsible” adults?

Think back to when you were 6 or 7, what did life look like back then? We trusted mom and dad would take care of all our needs, shoes, clothes, a house, food, and look after us if we were hurt or sick. We were free to run and play and live our dreams. We were able to live life to its full potential. Why? Because we did not worry about where our next pay cheque was coming from. We didn’t feel responsible for everyone around us.

If we put God in the parent position and we live life with a child-like mentality, with child-like faith. We really have nothing to worry about because God will provide all the things that we need. The bible talks about this in,

Matthew 7:11
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him.”

It was very easy to trust our parents as kids, at least for our basic physical needs, we didn’t even think about it. I know, I never questioned whether or not there was going to be dinner, I just showed up and there it was. I thanked my mom and then went back out to play.

How do we get back to that place in our minds where we let the “responsible” mind set go? The “responsible mindset” tells us to worry, to plan, to take matters into our own hands and work hard to make things happen. This is contradictory to what God is asking of us. This does not mean we don’t need to work hard. Let me give an example,

When I was about 6 years old, we had a house with a rather large back yard. My dad decided that we needed to learn some responsibility so he built 3 boxes, which were to be gardens. We were each given our very own garden. We went to the store, we picked out what ever we wanted to grow in the garden, we picked potatoes, corn, tomatoes, and a variety of other vegetables. We went back to the house and planted them, our father taught us how to tend the garden, weeding, trimming, how to put poles in the dirt for the tomato plants, he taught us all we needed to know, to tend to our garden. A lot of work was required, and it needed constant attention. In the end we had all the fresh vegetables we could eat.

Here is the parallel. God gives us things in our lives to work at and maintain, He provides the means for us to provide for our selves. But we need to remember, He provides it. This is key; my dad just like God has given us and taught us the skills we need to tend to our “garden” so to speak. We just need to trust that when we need something, he will open a door that we can walk threw. And on the other side will be a garden with all that we need in it, and he will teach us how to tend to it, so that it yields the most fruit. We need to understand that being responsible does not mean, provide for your self,

but rather take care of what God has give us.

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