Dan Byl

Now that I have you thinking, and maybe a little upset with the idea of not needing God. I want to tell you this, “we do need God.”

No not like most of the world, not like the kids in Africa that are wondering where there next meal is going to come from, or the people in china that are sick and going to die because they cant get medical attention. But perhaps in a less practical and a much more spiritual, and internal way.

We have created an environment that is so outwardly focused that most people are spiritually dead. They are so internally messed up they spend most of there time running from one distraction to the next.

We have a lot of things we can distract our selves with but as soon as we try to spend one minute with our selves we run like hell cause we can’t handle it, We wonder why there seems to be no purpose in our lives. And don’t forget about relationships… Why is there no depth? And have you ever tried to have a meaningful relationship with a person that cant spend a moment alone with them selves or always need to be finding that next distraction. “Good Luck.”

So here is where I tell you why we need God. I don’t want to preach but I need to share this with you all, and if you think God is crap then maybe this will just inspire you to take a look at things differently, or get you asking some questions. But please don’t blow this off. An open mind… is all I ask.

And as I said earlier, I try to approach everything with a “I could be wrong” mind set. I could be wrong, that could be a possibility. But I need to warn you now, I am pretty sure I am right.

Here goes…
This is where God comes in. He gives us the ability to deal with that crap. He gives us a sense of purpose, ito help people that are suffering and hurting out there somewhere in the world or next door. He teaches us to forgive people a helpful tool for any meaningful relationship.

I am not trying to preach and some of you maybe saying hey… woooh… hold on… I now people that seem like they are living a pretty good life and have meaningful relationships with people. And they don’t believe in God… Sure there are people out there that can do it. I think… I don’t really know any personally, and the few who pull it off really well only do so because they have learned either not to go to deep, or they are really good fakers.

Ouch, that’s not a nice thing to say, that is true, but I am not really afraid of being brutally honest with the people around me or myself.

Ok so how does God “fix us?” That is a process that at the moment I am experiencing first hand. The main ingredient is Grace, He gives us grace for our selves. So that, as we go through all our crap and fumble our way out the other side we don’t beat our selves up to the point that we just turn and walk away.

Second the only place that I have experienced a real support group is in a real Christ following community. Notice the lack of the word “Christian.” I am talking about people that really follow God, that are walking out what they preach. He gives the people around us the patience, to allow us to deal with our crap. And if they know God then they will have had some experience dealing with there own stuff.

God also has this way of showing us what real love is. I know it sounds like I am preaching, I guess I am oops. The funny thing is that you will have no idea about what I am talking about when I say Love until you actually experience Gods Love. I am only talking from my personal experience.

This is the last thing I want to leave you with, God has a way of transcending our experiences. Our experiences lie to us, they tell us what we want to hear. If I going on a trip and think it will suck cause we need to sit next to crazy Susan for the next five ours, then we will set out to prove ourselves right. We like being right. And if we think that something will be awesome we will go out of our way to make it rock. This is the power of the mind. And God has a way of getting through that to help us experience what he wants us to experience, I mean He is God and He kind of made the planet, so I think he can handle you and me.

Once we experience that real love and then start to mirror it, starting with our selves, things begin to change.

This is the a practical explanation of love and the way it works

Zigong asked: ”Is there any single word that could guide one’s entire life?” Te master said: ”should it not be reciprocity? What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.”

Analects of Confucious

If you ask any person that is looking for some sort of spirituality or any person that practices some manor of spirituality, they will tell you love is the strongest force there is.

Why is it that everyone no matter who they are knows and respects Mother Teresa? Love my friends, is the answer. Love is the thing that changes us, that gives us the ability to have meaning and a life worth living.

Well now that I have blabbed about love and God, I hope that it sparks some conversation. or a search for something. I have said before if you are honest with yourself you will come to the right conclusion. You may not like them but they will be the right ones. I don’t know what those are for you… but honesty is key…

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If that’s not a bold statement… Then I don’t know what is… shock value is what I am going for here people… “Ok I take that back” He is very relevant but we need to find his relevancy.

God has a very different relevancy to you and me here in the wonderful bubble and safety of western civilization. Oh sure bad things happen to us, we suffer from lack of fast food or we can’t afford to buy that new out fit for our hot date at the movies, or God forbid we run out of gas money. I mean dang what if we had to take the bus…?

Well ok maybe some of us face some more severe problems and crisis’s, but the reality is this, we have created a society that takes care of us, need food worst case scenario you go the food bank, need clothes go to the salvation army, a large number of our homeless are that way by choice. ( a large number are there because of drug habits and mental illness)

But for most of us, and I am talking about the people like my self that work a decent job, make enough money to get the odd new thing, drive our car around town, hit up a coffee shop and then head home to pound out some thoughts on our laptop, while listening to music and eating cookies that we picked up for lunch the next day.

This is our life, pretty nice if you ask a lot of the world, beyond the wildest dreams an even larger group of people in 3rd world countries. Cookies… coffee… laptop… music… car… wow. Where is God in that, what do I need him for. As far as I can tell I am doing pretty well for myself.

Ok sure I can be thankful. I have my health I have the blessing of living in the nicest, safest country in the world. And I have the ability to learn, do and make something of myself.

So sure he is relevant in that aspect but if I get sick I have free health care, if I hurt myself E.I. and when I retire a pension plan. I don’t need God.

What do I ask him for when I go to bed? “God can you protect my jeep as it sits in my drive way with no roof…” “and God can you make sure you stick around so that when the S#!T hits the fan I can B!@ch and moan about things and ask you to help me out of a pinch…”
“Amen”

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(often mistaken for Chinese)

I love Christianese… “NOT.”(thank you Borat) I truly can’t stand it, you may have never heard this term before so I will quickly elaborate. Christianese is when Christians use “simple terms” in the context of Christianity, and if you are not a Christian you probably have no clue what they are talking about.

For example, the term saved, every Christian knows what this term means, but use it with a non Christian and they look at you, like, ” I need to be saved from what?” Or the term revelation, Christians use this term all the time, it is usually in the context of God having spoken something to them, I think we use it to make our selves sound as if we have really had something profound imparted in us.

Funny thing is, most of the time it is just common sense. I don’t mean to be overly cynical. Christianese is just language and phrases that really don’t make any sense to any one out side of the “Christian world”

The other day (any time in the last 8 months, this particular time being pre married) I was talking with a friend about my current relationship. We were discussing the idea of “knowing.” I knew it was where I wanted to be, but I was willing to give it up, if God asked me to.

Then the phrase, “holding on to it loosely” was used. When we value something we tend to hold on to it really tightly. The tighter we hold on to something the more God wants to take it from us. Not take it away, but he wants to be in charge.

So the other option is to “hold on to it loosely.” God has a plan for our lives and sometimes he asks us to give up things that are really important to us. He does this so that we can learn something he wants to teach us.

So if we hold on to something tightly, that would mean we don’t want to let it go, or wont let it go. We are usually looking for some sort of control over the situation. This often causes us to walk out side of Gods will for our lives. We end up missing out on something or getting our selves into situations that we don’t want to be in. So to “hold on to things loosely” means that we are willing to give them up if asked, it means that we are not seeking to control but are more willing to experience the situation for as long as God wants us to.

Here is my issue with this phrase. The idea of holding onto something I really truly value loosely seems rather careless, if you are holding something that is absolutely precious to you, are you going to be holding it loosely in your hands or are you going to make sure you don’t drop that thing? I look at my relationship with my wonderful lady, and if it is up to me I am going to hold on to that thing very tightly I am going to protect it with everything I’ve got.

I think there is a better option, one that seems to have disappeared with the emergence of this “holding on to things loosely” phrase. I know that if I hold on to things the chances are at some point I am going to drop the ball, (who dropped the ball? Oooh… I dropped the ball) so here is the other option just put it into Gods hands right of the bat. Don’t mess around; just give it up as soon as you get it. Now that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy it because believe me, I am fully enjoying being with my girl. But all the pressure is off, it’s not up to me to protect it, it’s not up to me to try and make it into something, I can let go of control. IT’S NOT UP TO ME.

I have given it to God and now, its up to him, and because it’s in his hands I have to listen to him, if I want to enjoy everything that He has to offer. I have to follow his instruction if I want to see or touch it. And if I don’t, he will just take it away.

So what I am saying here is this, quit holding on to things, let them go, drop them, don’t put your hands on them. Pass it off as soon as possible, especially if you really care about it. Give it to someone that can take care of it and won’t drop it, no matter what happens. And that person is God.

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These are virtues that “all civilized” people recognize. Prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude.

Prudence is the same as common sense, thinking things out before you do them, and determining the consequences to our actions.

Temperance is knowing your limit, “the whole point is that he is abstaining, for a good reason, from something which he does not condemn and which he likes to see other people enjoying.” (CS Lewis)

Justice is more then just laws and what goes on in court, it includes fairness, honesty, give and take, and everything that we would expect from a “good person.”

And lastly, fortitude, the guts to walk it out.

Temperance seems to be the most used and abused of these virtues, in the Christian circle. Temperance is usually used in the realm of pleasures, it is knowing your limits, Many religious people have a hard time with this, they tend to do the same couple things wrong.

They tell people what is right and wrong for them, (this is a good thing) and they believe that if something is not right for them, then it is wrong for everyone. (this is bad)

C.S Lewis writes, “…The moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves, or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he is taken the wrong turn.” “ A man who makes his money or his motor-bicycle the centre of his life, or a woman who devotes all her thoughts to clothes or bridge or her dog, is being just as ‘intemperate’ as someone who gets drunk every night.” “Ohhh burn…”

So I guess we are not all as good as we thought we were, we need to find the healthy limits in our lives, and allow each person to do the same for them selves. It is super important to enjoy life. And a huge part of that is finding things that we find pleasure in.

For instance I have a tobacco pipe named Watson, I am sure that some people may be surprised and a little perturbed by the fact that I smoke. But I really enjoy it, I enjoy sitting down to a game of cards and blowing smoke circles with my friends. Today I went for long walk in the rain down by the lake and christened my new hand made wood pipe. The very thought of it still puts a smile on my face.

But there is limits If I were out smoking everyday well, firstly that would be really bad for my health, and second it just would be a little over the top, so for me a couple times a week is my limit, and most weeks I don’t reach that limit. Where others are once a day is there limit, and that’s ok. This is a personal thing if I started telling my friends they are wrong for doing something that they enjoy, and there really is no moral obligation attached to it then I think I am over stepping my boundaries.

We need to ask God what our limits are to be, we can ask him about a verity of things, smoking, gambling, buying clothes, and the list goes on. He will give you a boundary.

You may not like it but he knows us better then we do, and he gives them to us for a reason. The best option is to take them, question them find out why they are there, and make sure that we work with in those lines.

Its like coloring, there are many lines and if we stay in them the picture will turn out beautiful, but if we give it to our friends 2 year old well there is beauty there too but I think you get the idea.

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A question that a lot us can’t even ask, why? Well not enough of us are even willing to be honest enough with our selves to recognize that we do this. I know I am amazing I have been able to be honest enough with myself to come to the conclusion that I do in fact sell my self short in so many ways. Woohoo!!! Ok enough of the sarcasm.

Honestly I do this though, so the question is, why? What makes me do this? Fear, insecurities, self-preservation, I protect my self from things that don’t even exist and in the process of doing this I miss out on so many opportunities. I fear the things that I want most.

I have a fear of success, what if I reach my goals, what if I get what I think I want only to find that it is inadequate, or that what I thought was the be all, end all, is not all I thought it was. What if I put my self out there, get what it is that I have wanted for so long and then something happens and I screw it up. So I go through life not quite reaching my full potential in fact I actually hinder my self so that I can’t actually get there just so that I can’t and won’t screw up something good.

I enjoy a life of “lack of expectations” because people don’t expect a lot out of you, if you look like you are trying to getting somewhere, but aren’t quite there. People go oh I will help him reach his potential then I can ask for his help. People will give everything they have to help you get there, then when they don’t see any success, they go “well he just has growing to do” and they either give up or give you “space” so that you can grow. The fact is this that selling my self short is very much the easy way out.

The second reason that we sell our selves short is much like the first. We become we think we are happy, but it is more a strange sort of comfortable in our mediocrity. We find comfort in what we know. If we grow up in chaos we tend to find chaotic situations to be apart of, rather then striving for peace and tranquility.

It comes back to fear, so often we get stuck on the fear of “failure” because we all want to succeed, right? Well not really, if we fail we know what will happen, but if we succeed that is unknown territory, what then, what are the steps that I take? I have never been there before, what doors will it actually open? All these questions linger in our minds, and we are more afraid of trying to figure out all the unknowns then failing and being exactly where we presently are. And well we know what that’s like, we know how to handle that situation.

So next time you are rocking it in the free world ask yourself am I really more afraid to fail then I am to succeed?

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Someone asked me a question the other day…. The question was this, “is there such a thing as feeding pearls to swine?” As we all go through life we come up against people, we believe to be a waste of our time. The ones that really “piss us off.” (I believe that is the politically correct term.)

What should we do? The bible tells us to love our enemies because what does it prove, if we just love those that love us? We should also turn the other cheek.

What does that really look like? So often, I think we misinterpret the meaning of love we take the love part to mean that we need to work towards being “buddy buddy,” which in most cases is nearly impossible.

There are a couple people in my life that I can’t stand,(don’t worry none of you are one of those people) they drive me up the crazy tree where I hiss and scratch at them from the safety of the top limb.

What we need to realize is that we are not called to be “buddy buddy”, just to love everyone. Was Jesus best friends with the Pharisees? What does it mean to Love? It means responding, not reacting. It means not insulting the guy that was kicking the back of your chair all class, behind his back. It means that you care, that you bring your issues and that person to God and you leave them there. And you practice that little thing called self-restraint.

The reality is this, you probably have nothing in common with that loud mouth kid in the back of the class, so trying to relate to him in a, “I want to be your friend” kind of way is a waist of his and your time.

But not feeding the insecurities that make him that loud mouth waist of air, is loving him.

I don’t know if that answers the question, but I don’t think there is such a thing as swine in the world of people, and that thinking is what makes “those people” what they are and we are called to break that perception.

A question to ask is this, (oh I do love clichés) how does God see that person? And again you don’t need to be their friend but you can respect and love them. Even from the top branch of the crazy tree.

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