A little bit of Judas in us all.

As Easter just passed and we find our selves looking back over the story of Jesus’ death one key figure often comes up, Judas. But I don’t think we pay him enough attention. Would this story have taken place the way it did if Judas had not betrayed Jesus? Would one of the other disciples been left to do the dirty work? I think that we often see Judas and shake our heads in disgust, how could a man, a close friend of Jesus have betrayed him like that? He new he was the son of God, he knew his teachings and they loved each other. It was this line of thought that got me thinking maybe we are missing some key details here. How does one turn on a friend like that? And if Judas had gotten what he wanted why would he throw the money back and kill him self? 

            So I started praying and digging hoping I could find some answers that would make some sense of this story. I started reading and looking into how different authors and the scriptures depict him. This is what I found and this is what seems to make sense of this whole story to me.

Hear is a quote from one of the books I read.

             “The scriptures tell us very little about Judas’ background except to say that he was known as Iscariot and son of Simon (Jn 12.4) The land of Judea is a great distance from Galilee. Judas was politically active. Iscariot from the Latin word sicarius meaning “danger man” It was a Lain name for a member of a nationalist group related to the Zealots.”   Life Purpose.  By David Kalamen

            Here is what I can gather from what I have read. Judas was a man of action he wanted to over throw the Romans, and this was some of his motivation in spending time with Jesus. He thought that Jesus was going to lead this revolution. Jesus had spoken against the leaders of the time and even cast people of the temple. When Jesus showed up in Jerusalem and people gathered and sang and praised him, Judas must have been excited. He must have been wondering why they were there, and with such a following maybe now was the time. I believe that Judas arranged with the Pharisees to have Jesus arrested in hopes that this action would force Jesus to rise up and free himself and that the people would riot and rid themselves of their oppressors. This is the only reason I can think of that Judas would go to the garden and be there while his friend was arrested. Everyone new who Jesus was there was no need to for him to identify the man they needed to arrest. When they arrested Jesus and Peter took his sword and struck one of the guards that was the reaction that Judas was hoping for. I think he was excited to see his plan working. But when Jesus stopped the fighting and then healed his captor, this is where Judas’ heart must have dropped through the floor. It would have been at that point that he realized the error of his plan. Jesus had other plans for his life, he new what needed to happen and could see the big picture.  This is why I think Judas threw the money back and then took his own life. The Old Testament law states a life for a life.

So the point of all this, we are a lot more like Judas then I think we are willing to admit. No we are not killing Jesus be we often plan out side of Gods will and try to make it work out they way we think is best, just to find ourselves alone and way off track. We need to allow Jesus to go first, we need to follow him and ask him what he wants us to do rather then take matters into our own hands. I believe that Judas was not as far gone as we make him out to be, he was simply a man of action and got himself in over his head because he did not follow Christ’s lead.       

Humility what…

I am reading a book right now about our lives purpose. I have to admit that most of the time I am a bit overly critical, and cynical. The first 2 chapters of this book start off by saying that my generation, gen X is completely lost, we have no morals, no direction in life, no purpose, we are just a bunch of wandering hacks looking for answers. And the author, and his generation, ie, our parents have all the answers and that they need to start sharing them with my lost generation. Ouch… I didn’t know my generation was one of a bunch of clueless degenerates… And the thing that was even more surprising to me was that apparently my parents’ generation actually managed to get it right. 

………………….

I am sorry I just needed to catch my breath and pick my self up off the floor. It’s always good to laugh really hard. 

Last time I checked it was gen X that is trying to change and fix all the environmental damage that the generation before us has inflicted on the earth, oh and I am pretty sure the reason that gen x’ers have such a hard time thinking about marriage is because of the wonderful roll models we have seen go before us. All the amazingly happy relationships that we got to grow up witnessing. 

The point that I am trying to make here is not that our folks’ generation is totally messed and that we are somehow right, cause I do believe we are all pretty screwed up. I think that we all need to be in this together there is a lot we can learn from the generation before us but I do believe that they can learn just as much from us. If we completely write off our folks we are in real trouble cause no matter how messed up they are we can usually find something good that they have imparted in us. A good work ethic, goal setting, discipline, the list could go on. We need to humble our selves and listen to the years of wisdom that they have on us. What we need to do is start living up to our potential and show them that we are not what they perceive us to be. We are not totally lost, we care about others our planet, we have passions, and we are learning how to do relationship right. The problem we all face is that humility is the hardest concept for us all to grasp and the reality is this, that the generation that can exercise this trait the most will end up teaching and leading the most. They will be the generation that can cause the most change. 

So here is the challenge, he who summits, will ultimately lead

Becoming a Kid again.

(Exploring often helps in understanding)

This morning I went to church… and what was talked about was actually really good. It was something rather new… or at least presented in a new way. The thought was this, the way we see God will have a direct affect on how we live our lives. To be honest I have never really thought about this relationship. We often look at our lives and say that what happens in our lives will directly affect the way we see God. I think this is because our lives are more real to us. So it would make sense that the more real thing would affect the less real. I am going to explore one aspect of this, the one that I feel is probably less apparent to me then all the others. That is the father aspect of God. Last summer God helped me realize that I was transferring the view of my earthly father to God, this was preventing me from hearing God. I dealt with this, and the channels of communication opened up once again. But now a new difficulty has arisen, I really have no idea what it means to have God as my father. So I am going to explore this concept… right now in my life things are well a little unstable, I am off work and self employed so no EI for me. I need to trust God for my very basic needs. Something that I am not very comfortable with. Mostly because I have been taught that I need to look out for my self. I need to provide for my needs. This is a very different mentality then what God is asking us to have. We are supposed to be God’s children. What does that mean, well I think that as we have grown up we have become “responsible” we have decided that we need to provide for our selves. But God is asking us to be child like, what does this mean in this context? Think back to when you were 6 or 7, what did life look like back then? Well we trusted mom and dad would take care of all our needs, shoes, clothes, a house, food, and look after us if we were hurt or sick. We were free to run and play and live our dreams. We were able to create and live out our full potential, why because we did not worry about where our next pay cheque was coming from. So if we put God in the parent position in our lives and we live out the child like mentality that God has called us to. We really have nothing to worry about because God will provide all the things that we need. The bible talks about this in Mathew 7:11 

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him.” 

I think the struggle really comes in the fact that it was very easy to trust our parents as kids at least for our basic physical needs, we didn’t even think about it. I know I never questioned whether or not there was going to be dinner I just showed up and there it was. I thanked my mom and then went back out to play. How do we get back to that place in our minds where we let the “normal” mind set go? The “responsible mindset” tells us to worry to plan to take matters into our own hands and work hard to make things happen. But that is totally contradictory to what I think God is asking of us. Now this does not mean we need to work hard. Let me give and example, when I was 5-7 we had a house with a rather large back yard. My dad decided that we needed to learn some responsibility so he built 3 boxes, which were to be gardens. We each got a garden that was going to be our very own.  We went to the garden store and he let us pick out what ever we wanted to grow in the garden, we picked potatoes, corn, tomatoes, and a variety of others. We went back to the house and planted them, he then taught us how to tend the garden, weeding, trimming, put poles in the dirt for the tomato plants, the whole thing actually required a lot of work and constant attention. But in the end we had all the fresh vegetables we could eat.  Here is the parallel. God gives us things in our lives to work at and maintain, He provides the means for us to provide for our selves. But we need to remember, He provides it. This is key; my dad just like God has given us the means and will teach us how to tend to our “garden” so to speak. We just need to trust that when we need something, he will open a door that we can walk threw. And on the other side will be a garden with all that we need in it, and he will teach us how to tend to it, so that it yields the most fruit. We need to understand that being responsible does not mean, provide for your self, but rather take care of what god has give us. 

We need to stop being a bunch of pussies.

(Sorry about the word pussy, but really I don’t know what other word to use.)    

So I don’t know how many of you read my little email to Shaw… But really people, how is it that we let society get to such a state of immorality, a place so low that the creator of abortion gets the Governor Generals award. North America disgusts me. Our “culture” is destroying us. I truly believe this, now you may be thinking that I am going over the top on this one but the reality is this, I believe that God blesses us when we walk in his will, that though he has the ability to redeem all for his glory he can’t do this unless we start asking. Why do we continue to force got to have to redeem everything. There is a certain blessing that we get when we stay in the lines that god has given us. And we are so far out side of those lines as a collective whole that God is no longer able to bless us. We need to allow God to redeem us, but as long as we continue to walk in complete apathy and let things slide, He cannot redeem anything. God has given us free choice and he is not going to fix anything as long as we continue down this road. We wonder why all of North American culture (that includes Europe) has gone down the tube. Why our economy is dropping like an anvil from the roof or a 20 story building. And we as Christians are going “why are we being affected we are living our lives right?” This is why, because we are pathetic apathetic people. I am including my self in this. I have sat back and watched as our society tares it self-apart. I have not stood up for what I believe is right. I have said well that doesn’t really affect me you can do what you want as long as you don’t step on my toes and just shaken my head from a far. It is time to stop shaking our heads in societies general direction, and start becoming active. God has given us all abilities, some of us writers others public speaking, and many others. Lets start using them to change things, lets stop being a bunch of cowards and stand up for what we believe in. We are backed by God, we really don’t have anything to be afraid of. And I know that when you start acting on what God has called you to, God will bless you. We often think that if we speak up we will be rejected; the reality is this, society has become so sick that it is actually craving someone to be honest, someone to be something real. And when you speak up for what is right more then likely you will actually be thanked for sharing how you really feel. North American culture is so tiered of all the fake crap out there, movie stars, two faced people, musicians. We as Christ followers need to stop adding to what society would call fakeness. We need to start living some authentic lives and start standing for something; frankly standing for anything would be an improvement. I am so tired of people saying that they don’t know enough or haven’t got it figured out yet so they pussy out and let things slide. If you don’t know enough, God gave you the ability to learn, (read a book) and this whole need to get it figured out crap, news flash you probably won’t ever have it figured out, so its now or never. I would like to be more encouraging, and this ranting business is not really what I am into but honestly, Christians are a rather pathetic bunch in general, Now there are the exceptions and Thank God they are out there and Thank you for doing something. for giving the rest of us a least a chance to save face. I believe that if we start standing up, that our world will turn around. That God will have a chance to save us.   

Wow, so ok I am done ranting. I get a little riled some times when I look at Christians and I see the mentalities that we have embraced that in the end are making us just like everyone else. I want to see us succeed I want to be a part of a group of people that are making a difference. I wan to make a difference. I heard a quote a while ago that went something like this. “There is nothing in this world more dangerous then a person with nothing to lose.” The truth is this, we don’t have anything to lose.  So lets start living like it. We look at this statement and think well I do have things to lose, No you don’t. there is nothing that you have that God couldn’t take away in a second or give back to you in an even shorter second. Nothing we have is ours if we are truly living the life God has called us to live. So lets anti up and start making a difference. 

Society has hit a new low…

This is the email I sent out this morning, Please take the time to Write one of your own or change mine to fit your name, I think the email is self explanatory, I have provided 2 email addresses to which you can send your emails.

Thanks everyone.

ps. please forward this to any friends you think would be willing to join in this. 

the american movie classics email 

email: amccustomerservice@rainbow-media.com

shaw tv email

email: stv@sjrb.ca

I was watching American Eagle on tv on the American movie classics channel,  yesterday morning, when an advertisement for a vibrator by Trojan came on. I have to say that was disgusted by this this new low in tv etiquette. Not only was this an advertisement for a sex toy, but it came on at 11:30 in the morning which is when viewers ages range from almost any age. Late night tv I can understand, advertising is advertising, but when little kids and people of all ages are viewing some discretion should be enforced. The lack of thought and care on your part is disturbing and I can honestly say that if that is the advertising that will be shown on your channel during the day, I will not be watching any longer. 

Thank you 

To ask, or not to ask that is the question.

How many times are we told that we just need to trust God. We need to have faith, I get the impression that questioning God is something that we are not supposed to do, or that it should really be our last resort. And if we question God then we lack faith. I don’t believe this at all. We have only gotten to the places we have in science and technology, from asking questions, from exploring. We were created as inquisitive beings. So why then should we suddenly stop asking questions in one area of our lives, potentially the most important area of our lives. And if we ask questions what’s the problem its not like we area going to stump God. I realize that when I ask God questions most of the time it is out of pure frustration. I just spent 9 days in the hospital because the doctors needed to remove 3 feet of my intestinal tract. I spent some time asking God why he didn’t just heal me, why I had to go through the surgery, and then once I got out I was out for 4 days and then I was back in with the possibility of surgery once again, but thank God I didn’t have to, it was a chemical imbalance. But being back in the hospital again with that potential put in front of me and having been told that God was healing me, I wanted God to show up in the hospital room so I could punch him in the head. That truly is how I felt. I really questioned God, does he really love me? Does he really want the best for me? Do I hear Gods voice or am I just making things up? These are just some of the questions I asked while I laid in my hospital bed waiting to find out if I was going back under the knife. Its funny to me to hear people say that you shouldn’t question God. If we didn’t questions him how are we supposed to learn who he is or what it is he is doing in our lives? I have learned so much over the last couple weeks, about God, understanding healing, understanding the bigger picture and how that relates to my life. I know that the only way to learn is to start asking questions and to see where that leads, otherwise we are never going to move from our comfortable perches, where we feel above it all, but the reality is that we are totally lost. So don’t hesitate to ask questions, its how we were created its what has gotten us this far. 

Christianese…an odd dialect used by Christians.

I love Christianese… NOT. I really truly can’t stand it, now you may have never heard this term before so I will quickly elaborate on this. Christianese is when Christians use simple terms in the context of Christianity, and if you are not a Christian you probably have no clue what they are talking about. For example, the term saved, every Christian knows what this term means but use it with a  non Christian and they look at you, like, ” I need to be saved from what.?” or the term revelation, Christians use this term all the time, it is usually in the context of God having spoken something to them, I think we use it to make us sound like we have really had something profound imparted in us, funny thing is most of the time it is just common sense. I don’t mean to be overly cynical.  Christianese is just language and phrases that really don’t make any sense to any one out side of the “Christian world”

So the other day I was talking about the relationship that I am in currently, and the idea of knowing that it is where I want to be but willing to give it up, if God asked me to, came up. And the phrase, “holding on to it loosely” was used. When we are in something or value something we tend to hold on to it really tightly, doing this can get us into trouble. So the other option is to hold on to it loosely.  Ok I need to try and explain this, God has a plan for our lives and sometimes he asks us to give up things that are really important to us so that we can learn something, or in the big picture they may not be super healthy for us. So if we hold on to something tightly, that would mean we don’t want to let it go, or wont let it go. We are usually looking for some sort of control over the situation.  This often causes us to walk out side of Gods will for our lives. We end up missing out on something even better or getting our selves into situations that we wouldn’t be in if we were willing to let the thing go. So to hold on to things loosely means that we are willing to give them up if asked, it means that we are not seeking to control but are more willing to experience the situation for as long as God wants us there.  So here is my issue with this phrase. The idea of holding onto something I really truly value loosely seems rather careless, if you are holding something that is absolutely precious to you, are you going to be holding it loosely in your hands or are you going to make sure you don’t drop that thing? I look at my relationship with my wonderful little lady, and if it is up to me I am going to hold on to that thing very tightly I am going to protect it with everything I’ve got.  But here is the catch if God asked me to let it go I need to be willing to do that. This is all in the context of holding on to things loosely.  

But I think there is a better option, one that seems to have disappeared with the emergence of this holding on to things loosely term. I know that if I hold on to things the chances are at some point I am going to drop the ball, so here is the other option just put it into Gods hands right of the bat. Don’t mess around; just give it up as soon as you get it. Now that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy it because believe me, I am fully enjoying being with my girl. But the nice thing is this all the pressure is off, it’s not up to me to protect it, it’s not up to me how long we are together, its not up to me. I have given it to God and now its up to him, and because it’s in his hands I have to listen to him if I want to enjoy everything that it has to offer. I have to follow his instruction if I want to see or touch it.  And if I don’t he will just take it away.  So what I am saying here is this, if we are going to hold on to something, we had better do everything we can to hold on to that securely cause we will probably drop it at some point.  The better option is to pass it off as soon as possible, especially if we really care about it. Give it to someone that can take care of it and won’t drop it, no matter what happens.      

Happiness = slightly drunk…

What is success? 

This is a question I find I have been asking myself as of late, could have something to do with the fact that I have been reading a book by Gene Bedell, the Millionaire in the mirror, a really good book about finding success in your carrier and what steps to take in order to get there. The success that he is talking about is I would say rather typical of the North American culture we live in.  Bedell defines success as this, “outstanding earnings or influence in your field combined with outstanding happiness.”  So I am not sure if you feel the same way as me on this but ìwow that was vague. So what is success and what is outstanding happiness supposed to mean.  Ok time for a little research and some definitions found on the web. 

suc·cess n

1. the achievement of something planned or attempted

2. impressive achievement, especially the attainment of fame, wealth, or power

3. something that turns out as planned or intended

4. somebody who has a record of achievement, especially in gaining wealth, fame, or power

hap·py adj

1. feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy

2. causing or characterized by pleasure, contentment, or joy

3. feeling satisfied that something is right or has been done right

4. willing to do something

5. resulting in something pleasant or welcome

6. slightly drunk (informal)

7. used in formulae to express a hope that somebody will enjoy a special day or holiday

8. inclined to use a particular thing too readily or be too enthusiastic about a particular thing (used in combination)

So this is what the world thinks of Happiness “slightly drunk” I think I like that definition, ok well again I find myself sitting here shaking my head going what the heck, I think there is something seriously missing. If What I have to aspire to in life is summed up in the definition of these two words I am out, peace, audios, later. Ok you get the point, so what then does it mean to be successful and happy? What definition of these terms would actually motivate me to want to attain these things. First I need to share something that I think has drastically changed my view of what these things are. When I was 13 I spent a good chunk of time living in the Philippines, this has subsequently ruined me for life. I no longer look at the world the same, yes I was young but it completely altered my perception of what is actually important. Do I crave the standard American definition of success in my life, sure I do, I see the practical elements of it.  I want a family and a wife one day so having enough money to keep us all comfortable is important, being able to send my kids to school or university is high on my list of things I want to be able to provide one day. But it really stops there, I don’t think that comfort equals happiness. If that were so I would spend a lot of time on my couch. But I when I do that boredom sets in, in a big hurry. I got to see people living in slums sleeping on dirt floors, I got to see people going hungry and sick because they could not afford to get food or medicine. But what I also saw were people that are happier then most North Americans with their two cars, big homes and full fridges. I saw a joy and a life in these people that cannot be explained by any stretch of the north American culture. I saw something that I want in and out of life. And to be completely honest I don’t even know if it is attainable here. I really hope it is cause I know that at least part of my life is going to be lived here in Canada. And I don’t want to be miserable until I can get the heck out of here.  

Ok so what is happiness, I think that happiness comes from a sense of purpose; it comes from being connected to a group of people that care for you that would give anything to help you, in life. It comes from love, loving others and being loved. And lastly it comes from being content with what we have. Now that last one is a bit tricky, I am not saying don’t work towards things, but what I am saying is when you truly except where you are in life and you come to a point where you are ok with that, you wont be bummed out when your buddy shows up with a new phone that you can’t afford, or having the next best thing is not your source of happiness, because there will always be a next best thing and consequently you will never be happy.  And success to me is definitely more connected to influence then money. This is my reasoning, how much money you have has no real relationship to what kind of person you are, while how much influence people will give you in there life is directly related to what kind of person they see you to be. People will give you permission to speak into there lives however based on your integrity and character, so to be a person of great influence means that you are a person if good character and integrity.  That might be a little back and white but I think you can see my reasoning. I would rather change the world for the better then live in a crappy one and have lots of money. And believe me changing the world is a lot harder to do then making money. 

So now the question is how do we achieve this? 

To trust or not to trust?

As I sat in church this morning listening to the pastor speak I felt this desire to get out of there. Something in me was being stirred. He was talking about trusting god and how we need to trust him for everything. I looked around at the congregation sitting there and I thought to my self this is all well and good but you are never going to learn unless you are in a situation and given a choice to trust or not to trust. And I was not going to find a situation like that sitting in church.  So I took off from church with this little bit of inspiration, I headed for home to grab my laptop and then I was off to the coffee shop to rant. I got back out to my car put the key in the ignition and nothing… I tried to start it but it was not going to run.. its either the fuel pump or the starter, for money sake I really hope it’s the starter. Let me elaborate. I am coming off of about 3 weeks off work because of sickness and I am stretched a little thinner then I have been in years, and car repair bills are not really something I need right now. I guess I just got put into a position of to trust or not to trust? funny how god works, He really has a sense of humor. It seems that while this whole trusting God thing is on my mind he is going to give me an opportunity to learn while it is all at the front of my mind.  ( Guess I found what I was looking for) God obviously is trying to teach me something here.  I have to admit I have been really frustrated with him as of late, let me recap the last month of my life. Saturday before Christmas I go into the hospital for 3 days with a full blockage in my intestines, I get out for Christmas and then the Monday after I am back in with a partial blockage. The doctor ordered a fluid only diet for a week, less then a week later I get the flue, and I am sicker then I think I have ever been in my life, it takes about a week to recover from that. 2 days later I get an infection in my lungs, that the doctors think is going to turn into something much worse, I have been feeling better now for about 2 days and my car breaks down. Now I know that I am blessed, and that I have a beautiful girlfriend that looks after me so well, I still have a job and I have food. But on any ones scale that is a run of really crappy luck. I have been asking God what it is he has been trying to teach me through all this? I guess I am really coming to the end of my self, which seems to be the place that God has the most room to speak. IT’S IN OUR INABILITY THAT GOD CAN SHOW HIS ABILITY. I would say that on a scale of 1 to tough I definitely lean a little more to the tough side. I am a fighter and a survivor and I will not go down with out a fight. Do I think God is trying to break me, yes I do. I have been looking at Job in the bible, now I am not going to compare myself to Job because well I have nothing on him. But it took God allowing the complete destruction of everything that he had and owned in order for him to be able to show him self to Job in a new way. That really scares me cause I don’t want to lose everything I have and I don’t want to be smashed into nothing. But if it means that I will meet God in a new way if it means that through this I learn to trust him, I know that my life will be much better on the other side of all this.  I know that God is teaching me to trust and rely on the people around me, my close friends, and significant other. I can not go through life a one man show and that is what I am slowly learning, I have to allow the people in my life to speak into me and care for my needs and I have to learn to ask for help. These are all things that I am really not very good at all, but I am leaning.  I am learning that I we need to embrace what we are going through and where we in the moment, and only then can we start to learn, the more we fight the longer it takes. 

Understanding Our Self Worth

Ps. I wrote this on T3’s so if it wonders or doesn’t make sense blame it on the drugs…

It is amazing all the things that we feel towards ourselves and how the majority of the time those things are negative. We beet ourselves up for this and that, we make the joke about our selves so that others wont have to. We are worried what people will think we, are afraid that we wont have anything to offer that special someone one day.  So how do we figure out what we are actually worth. PERSPECTIVE. It really comes down to how we look at things,  are we looking at things through the eyes of the one that made us or are we looking at things through the eyes of the world and the people around us. If we are looking at  our selves through the eyes of our maker then we will see a true picture of who we are and who he made us to be. The thing about this is that in order to have this view we need to wholly and completely give our selves over to him. C.S Lewis talks about how if we have not give our selves to God and we have not asked him to live in side of us then we are simple made by God, we are in his image but we are a product of his creative abilities. He explains it like this, God is the artist,  and we are the sculpture. We my look like him we not alive we are simply the product of his hand. But once we ask God into our lives we become alive, we receive his life, we are no longer a product of the artist but he becomes apart of us and us him.  I was talking with a friend the other day and he said it like this, if God is not a part of our lives then we are simple his pawns, or puppets he can pull what ever strings he wants in our lives, why because we have not excepted his plan, so he is going to make it happen with or with out us. This does not mean we don’t have free will but he does have the ability to manipulate us in whatever fashion he feels. Look at Pharaoh, in the story of Moses, God came and hardened his heart so that he could show his power. Pharaoh had no choice he didn’t really even know what was going on. But God pulled the strings that he felt was necessary.  Then look at Moses in that same story, because he had accepted God plan, God actually negotiated with him, “Fine Erron will go with you.” our value now comes from God because he is our father, he is the only one that can see everything that we are and everything that we have to offer. So we should stop looking to the world for our identity but we need to look to him. We see that where we come from or who we have been in the past no longer determines what we have to offer or even who we are. We become a new creation when we ask God into our lives. He redefines who we are.  He tells us what we can and cannot do, he sees our full potential and if we accept his plan for our lives then he will walk us through situations that will allow us to grow and realize our full potential.  We can walk in the confidence that the God the maker of the universe has us here for a reason, he can use us despite any feelings that we may have towards ourselves for his plan for his glory.  Everything that we are comes from God, he becomes our strength, our hope, our love.  Our identity is now tied to who Jesus is, and what we are capable of is, also tied to him.